Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it!

A real message from the senior NCO of a section to his subordinate working a different shift.  And sometimes you just have to have a little fun (or go punch him out) and so this is a forward with SFC Jimbolowsky’s dream response.

You may recognize it as a takeoff from the movie “A Few Good Men” where Jack Nicholson’s character has a monologue about protecting the nation from weenies like this.  Enjoy (if you can).

-----Original Message-----

From: Messy-slag, Jorban Q MSG USA USF-I HHC 3-634TH AVN/S-1

Sent: Monday, January 32, 2011 9:27 AM

To: Jimbolowsky, Phister Q SFC USA USD-N HHC 3-634TH AVN/WQUEST0; Zin, Fandel SSG

USA USF-I 3-634th NGB/ABCD-AVN-P

Subject: clean

Apparently when I tell you to clean, you must be too busy to do it. So

please come in on your reset day this week if you can't make sure the

hall-way and office floors are clean. Thanks for your service.

MSG Jorban Messy-slag

3-634TH S-1 NCOIC

TF Big Blade

Joint Base Tikrit, Iraq

NIPR          731-8374

SIPR          543-4982

SFC Jimbolowsky M. Phister: When did you tell me to clean?

MSG Jorban Messy-slag: You want answers?

SFC Jimbolowsky M. Phister: I think I'm entitled.

MSG Jorban Messy-slag: You want answers?!

SFC Jimbolowsky M. Phister: I want the truth!

MSG Jorban Messy-slag: You can't handle the truth!

Son, we live in a world that has hallways and those hallways need to be

guarded by men with mops and brooms. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Captain

Chuckie?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You

weep for S1 night crew and curse the S1 morning crew; you have that luxury.

You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that CSM Fleck will chew my

Ass if you don't sweep and mop, while tragic, probably saved lives and that

my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at

the CHU, I want you sweeping that hallway, I need you mopping that hallway.

We use words like bucket, pine oil, dust pan. We use them as the backbone of

a life trying to clean something. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very cleanliness I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and

went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a broom or a mop and

stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are

entitled to.

SFC Jimbolowsky M. Phister: Did you order to sweep?

MSG Jorban Messy-slag: I did the job I had to do.

SFC Jimbolowsky M. Phister: Did you order to mop?!

MSG Jorban Messy-slag: You're God damn right I did! I'll put it in writing

next time!

Red Dragon, "Space Ranger"

           _________

         /'        /|

        /         / |_

       /         /  //|

      /_________/  ////|

     |   _ _    | 8o////|

     | /'// )_  |   8///|

     |/ // // ) |   8o///|

     / // // //,|  /  8//|

    / // // /// | /   8//|

   / // // ///__|/    8//|

  /.(_)// /// |       8///|

 (_)' `(_)//| |       8////|___________

(_) /_\ (_)'| |        8///////////////

(_) \"/ (_)'|_|         8/////////////

 (_)._.(_) d' Hb         8oooooooopb'

   `(_)'  d'  H`b

         d'   `b`b

        d'     H `b

       d'      `b `b

      d'           `b

     d'             `b

It is clever and maybe a little funny.  But in the stress of dumb stuff and childish leadership sometimes you just need to grin and bear it.

“Oh that is terrible! He was so close to going home too. What’s for lunch?”

A mother somewhere is crying uncontrollably.  Her baby is gone forever, and for what?  A wife, father, brother and sister all wonder why?  Why did it happen?   How could it happen? 

“Sgt Smith was a good Soldier and a good husband….” And the remembrance will begin.  Or is it a “celebration of life” as is the popular phrase.  He is dead.

Fellow Soldiers who knew him, worked with him and talked with him yesterday or the day before are all wondering if they should have known?  Could they have known?  Were there signs?  The whole unit grieves.

The section sergeant; it was her Soldier.  Good or bad she asks herself if she handled him correctly, what did she miss?  The Platoon sergeant and platoon leader will talk over coffee, maybe cry in their rooms and feel like they failed as leaders. 

All the commanders are hurt.  The company commander missed the signs; the Battalion commander lost a Soldier and it may be the only casualty of the whole deployment.  He may be scarred for years wondering what he could have done.  The Brigade Commander is hurt.  He really thought they would make it home without this.  “Only seven more days and the Soldier would have been home.  Damn!”

His wife was deployed with him.  They shared a CHU.  You know there is grieving and wondering, pain, doubt all through her. 

And there is a little doubt…was it suicide?  Initially everybody thinks so, right?  What else can it be?  But right now it is a “death” and being investigated, even as the body is shipped home.  His wife accompanies him.

The memorial service is well attended considering all the activity. Most of the company, a few others are there and of course some VIPs come in to lend a sense of somberness and seriousness to the whole affair.  It is pretty clear they (the battalion conducting the service) didn't rehearse anything (or not very well) and there are a few stumbles and missteps.  (Note to self:  rehearsal is important everywhere, but especially so at times like these).  Overall it is “nice” but really it sucks. 

There are no answers yet and who among the attendees really knew this guy?  Who was really his friend?  Was there brotherly love and affection or just a bunch of guys doing a mission?  Was he really an outcast or the most popular guy in his section and platoon?

This isn’t my first exposure and I am five degrees removed (okay only three), but what can you say?  What can you think?  You can give a little prayer for the family, the wife, the child at home with his grandma.  Oh, yeah, how about a prayer for mercy and forgiveness to the Soldier?  Maybe a little extra one for your own family and then a prayer of thanksgiving that you have been blessed and God hasn’t taken any of your own (Yet.)  Once you get over fifty time moves faster and more people are dying all the time every day.

Suicide.  The army (and all the armed services) spend an incredible amount of money talking about suicide prevention.  There are mandatory 4 hour blocks of instruction for everybody with an extra emphasis for leaders to “be aware” and “signs to look for”.  Public Service announcements (PSAs) on the Armed Forces radio and television network about suicide (and every other malady that affects Soldiers:  texting while driving; driving while drunk; leaving your password on a sticky note on the bottom of your keyboard.  They have everything covered if we would only listen and heed!)

At NFH (and if you didn’t commit suicide there it is only because they didn’t give you ammo) there was a safety class and here is an amazing fact:  more suicides occur with Guardsman and reservists than the active duty last year.  But wait!  There is more!  Most of the suicides occurred in Soldiers who were at home in the United States.  Many of them had never deployed! 

When we were at North Fort Hood there were three suicides (maybe more) in a week.  Fortunately for us they were all at South Ft. Hood with active duty Soldiers.  They were in a panic and searching for a solution (as though there is one).

If that isn’t enough after careful analysis by the army safety center and other important people and agencies they have found this:  there is NO correlation and no constant.  There really are no experiences, ages, marital status or anything else that will predict a suicide. So….we are just on the lookout for “signs”.  And really I think most people might know what some of those signs might be; unusually depressed, change in personality, stressful situations (or unstressful situations) and other things where you might say “We need to keep an eye on him.”

What if the Soldier had a suicide prevention appointment that day which he missed (of course he missed it because…he couldn’t make it, if you know what I mean (a little too late for him.)

And as you get the news you go through the stages of grief pretty fast. 

“Oh my gosh that is terrible!”

“Did you know him?  Oh, good, I mean that’s fortunate.” (Like not knowing him helps me not be depressed because he is dead but I don’t know him.  Whew!)

“What unit was he in?  Oh, who are they?  That is a big unit.”  Further removing yourself.  Okay, a little breathing room…

“Well, the good news is the wife will get 500K, so it isn’t all bad.” Finding good in a death helps move us all along towards…   

“Why do you think he did it?  I mean he was almost home!  But maybe that was the problem!  He didn’t want to go home!  Maybe marital problems?”

“Then that wasn’t very smart.  Pissed at the wife so you kill yourself?  She gets the money, the kid, and she is still alive and all you get is you are dead!” (Soldier logic and instant analysis.) 

Great speculation and a move toward minimizing the death by identifying why it could only be committed by a man of lesser intelligence.  Now you really start to feel better. So finally you look at the clock and say, “Hey, are you hungry?  What’s for lunch?”

In the space of 5 minutes you are able to grieve and move on.  Sure you might feel a little during the memorial service in a day or two (as long as it doesn’t run too long or make you miss lunch) but you have your own trip home to worry about. Your wife, your kid, your family and all the fun stuff you are going to do when you leave this god-forsaken land in 6 days, 4 hours and hopefully 23 minutes (if your flight takes off on time, but who is counting?)

If I may steal from the poet…

Each Soldier's death diminishes me, 
For I am Soldier. 
Therefore, send not to know 
For whom the bell tolls, 
It tolls for me.

It really isn’t a bad deal, moneywise!

I know it is a sacrifice.  Many Soldiers have to leave their families to come to Iraq. Many would like to stay home and skip the whole thing.  But for others there is a whole different approach to this deployment thing.  It pays pretty well.

My pay is listed below.  Check it out.  BTW it is supposed to be tax free for the first $89,000.00 or so (up to the salary of the CSM of the Army), which is pretty good too.  (Right now mine still has the taxes included but they should be refunded in another pay disbursement.)  

I am well paid compared to many, but it is still a good deal for most of us pay wise.  The taxable pay that is tax free is the parts listed as PAY.  The parts listed as ALWS is for an allowance, which is always tax free anyway.  So in California, on active duty the BAH (Bachelor’s Allowance for Housing) is tax free even if you never leave the state. BAH is based upon rank and where you live (cost of housing).

So read through that and think about it.  Look at the net.

BASIC PAY INCENTIVE PAY HARDSHIP DUTY PAY HOSTILE FIRE SUBSISTENCE ALWS BAH FAM SEP ALWS CONUS COLA FED INC TAX                833.25 FICA TAX                      234.25 STATE INC TAX           135.45 SGLI                                27.00 TSP CONTRIBUTION   207.83 +Tot Ent 6442.07 -Tot Ded 1463.38 -Tot Allt =Net Amt 4978.69

4156.65 125.00 50.00 225.00 111.92 1591.50 125.00 57.00

But wait!  There is MORE! 

That is only for half a month!  I get twice that amount per month!  Not a bad deal?!

The fun doesn’t end there!  I also am entitled to a G.I. Bill benefit that allows me to transfer my education benefit to my children.  And that is valued at 60% of their tuition where they go to school plus they get a housing allowance for an E-5 (a pay grade) plus some other stipend.  For Soldiers who go another year the percentage goes up until you get to 100% after I think 4 years of deployed service. That could easily be worth another 80K for myself (I think, I haven’t run the numbers because it is all just a blessing to me and every extra dollar is a good one).

It still isn’t over!  I will also have access to the V.A. Hospital and their services until age 62 (whenever Medicare kicks in) for my medical needs.  For example, if you are over age 50, a colonoscopy for free.  Not exactly the benefit people normally look forward to, but my friends who have gone to the V.A. in Long Beach, CA have been very happy with their service.  One for counseling, another for unexplained problems (diabetes) and a third for weight loss and hearing loss and still another for cholesterol screening.  If you are a veteran you get access to the services.

An additional benefit that my buddy CW5 Grumpy likes is that for every 3 months you serve in a combat zone as a Guardsman they reduce your retirement age (to draw your pension) by three months.  So he hopes to retire from the Guard and draw his pension at 59 or even 58 if they make it retroactive.  That is worth quite a bit (depending on how many years you serve and duty points you earned:  a point a day or two points a day for drills.)

For many Soldiers off-setting the separation from family and friends is you also get to save money since they provide three square meals per day, living quarters and access to the internet and movies.  For those of us blessed with a location as nice as Taji (it really is all relative) it is just like a long TDY trip (Temporary Duty).

So continue to pray for us and our families.  It is a sacrifice, but in the big picture for many of us it is an adventure (for the younger ones) and a chance to get back on your financial feet or pay off college debt for many others.  For others it provides money to buy a house, a car or just to provide some financial breathing room.  A man needs to provide for his family and for some this is how they do it.

As long as you don’t get hurt, killed, divorced, or have your children or family suffer because of your absence, it really can be a pretty good deal!

1^st Timothy 5:8   

The worst airline in the world today is…?

What do you think?  Southwest?  Delta? United Arab Emirates?  Give up?

With the weather in Chicago and New York recently there have been untold numbers of stories of people stranded, lost baggage, missed flights and living in the terminal for days.  And it is true that these things have occurred there, but they occur everywhere.

Leaving your hotel or living arrangements and traveling by bus to catch a flight in the expectation that you will be on your way to your destination sometimes gets people to leave at crazy early hours (like 0130).  They get to the airport to check in and make sure they get past security, their bags will get on their flight and they anxiously check and recheck the schedule to make sure they are where they need to be on time and ready to go.

Then what happens?  Your flight is cancelled and they won’t let you go home because they are going to put you on another flight “soon”.  Later they tell you to wait a little bit longer…and then they even get you on the bus to go to the aircraft on the other side of the airport.  So you board and off you go to catch your flight.  “I am getting out of here!  Oh yeah!” you think.  The bus driver stops and you can see the aircraft right over there (or is it the other one?  There must be at least 5 or more…) He says, “Looks like there is a 30 minute delay, so you can disembark and have a smoke or use the facilities.  Some people get off and some stay on because it is a little warmer or they are already tired from traveling.  Thirty seconds later (maybe a minute) he calls out again “Hey!  Everybody back on the bus, we need to go!  The plane is ready!”  Doesn’t this sound so familiar?  Has it happened to you?

People start to come back on.  “Is everybody here?  Where is the girl who was in that seat? …the bathroom?  Go get her!  Are the smokers back in?”

Everybody loads up in the plane and the briefing is given and the engines are started.  My seat doesn’t recline, but it is all good.  Liftoff and then the announcement that we are starting our final approach comes across the intercom.  You get that little excitement in your stomach; part butterfly part…is that airsickness?  DO you smell that?  (I am soooo glad I am NOT a sympathy puker….but the guy over there IS!)    

And then you wait and circle and wait and circle and you realize this is the longest final descent you ever remember.  An announcement is made that the weather is too bad in Chicago, New York or even Taji and you are headed back.  Another hour plus later you land and are right back where you started from.  But no gate, so they take you back by bus the other way and let you off in the passenger terminal again.  There are no seats so you sleep on the floor.  The next day there are no flights but good news!   They have a place for you to stay.  Not exactly a Motel 6….but a mattress anyway.  Unfortunately your bags are loaded and parked somewhere else.  So…you are stuck with what you have been wearing for a day.  Then two days.  On the fourth day you finally get to climb on another plane and go to….Balad. 

Balad?  How did THAT happen?  Balad is nice though.  They have sheets for their beds and a pillow.  And you get your bags!  The folks who left a day before you arrived at Taji but without their bags.  Even though they loaded them on board they thought.

They take you from the plane by bus to a “welcome brief” where they give you a map,  some cursory instructions, tell you where you will live and then back on the bus.  By this time your bags have been moved and set down on the large dirt/rock area (the rain stopped two days ago and they got the mud scraped away).  You can pick up your bags in the dark (they finally figured out they needed light stands and brought some the next evening).

Of course you are wearing your helmet and 45 pounds of IOTV plus your back pack/carry on.  Your unit gets your bags and puts them into cars or gators and you walk after them towards your housing area (which is surrounded by 14 foot concrete T-walls) which looks like the other areas except yours has the number #33 stenciled in large font to differentiate it from say #23 or #39 (which is where you got your bags).

“Welcome Jake!  How are you?” 

“Well sir, four days and (then the explanation above) and I got this rash I don’t know where I got it… (As he walks bow-legged toward the housing Pod) is killing me.  I am so tired!”

We arrive and our people have moved his bags and box into his room which is rock star parking, right next to the men’s latrine.  I mean 10 steps and he is door to door!  (RHIP!) 

“This place is dirty!  Oh, sir!  This room is too big for me.  I can use something smaller; maybe have some Soldiers who are two to a room swap with me?”

“No S.J. This whole row is like a millionaire’s street.  They don’t want a mobile home to be built here (funny because a CHU IS a small mobile home) and they don’t want junior enlisted Soldiers either.  This is Officer’s Row, plus your rank gets you this premier spot and you would be 50 yards and one street over if you moved. You have to stay here.  Are you ready to go to bed?”

“I am so tired.  But I am hungry.  I haven’t eaten all day!”

We walked (he waddled, that rash!) to the midnight chow and Sexy Jake ate onion rings, wings, two Fanta strawberry flavored sodas and a salad.  We had Specialist Weill with us and she ate a small portion.  I chatted with her while we watched S.J. eat.  Every so often he would speak and I would have to say “S.J!  You eat!  Don’t talk!  Eat!” since it was already past midnight.

The Air Force is working their tails off flying all the time.  But how can you lose the bags?  And they were so over full that the first day or so they didn’t have room even in the tents! If your flight was cancelled they didn’t automatically reschedule you (so what did they think happened to you?)

One of my LT friends, Jeffe Drake (he joined at 35 years old; he had a good job and family, but wanted to serve) called home right after he got his bags.  The paramedics were still there and they had just sent his wife to the hospital because she had collapsed at home with the children.

He should be home in less than three days (emergency leave) to see her and further assess the situation.  Four to five days from Camp Buehring to Taji (a 90 minute flight by C-130).  A twenty hour flight or more from here to Anaheim Hills and he gets there faster probably because he will fly Delta.        

After 4-5 days sleeping on concrete floors, traveling and returning, missing your bags, hurrying up to wait, getting ready and then stopping several times you finally arrive.  What a joyous feeling!  What happiness to actually sleep in your own bed!  Be in your own room (shared or not) with a chance to sleep and sleep.  You get that joy, joy, joy, joy down in your heart to stay.

Is it planned?  Is this a conspiracy?  The closer you get to Iraq the better your life gets?  NFH “sucked” and we couldn’t wait to leave.  Buehring (Kuwait) was a hole where the housing was worse and there was nothing to do.  Ali-Al Saleem was the most frustrating experience of the trip so far!  Upon finally arriving at Taji, (the biggest dump of all) all you can think is “Home Sweet Home!”

The worst airline to fly for reliability, on-time departure and arrivals, customer service, in-flight meals, lost baggage and customer service (according to the Department of Transportation) is unknown by me.  But they don’t rate the U.S. Air Force for any of that, which is good because they would certainly be at the bottom of every category.

For fun, excitement, arrival and departure times guaranteed to be within 3 minutes of scheduled time (whether at a site to drop off Soldiers to attack an enemy or a General or VIP to get to a meeting) you have to “Fly Army”.

Welcome to Taji!

My first night out to get some exercise on the local soccer field and it was going to be great.  The weather was a little chilly but the lights were on and the dirt was soft.  It almost felt like running on artificial turf without the green color and white lines.  I can just imagine what it will be like in the summer:  hot, dusty and sandy feeling.

The local players (contractors) came out and depending on their nation of origin were wearing their favorite team colors. “Where is the yellow from?”  “I think it is Morocco or something”.

There were some English, and a few others represented there.  Lots of blue, the three or four in yellow and of course our five in Army black and gray.  “Hey sir, you need to have some “cormillo”, you know?”  No; I don’t know.  My Spanish isn’t that good but he was holding the other player by the back of the shirt while he leaned into him to get a practice header.  Holding is a foul, but obviously some feel like “no call, no foul”.  What does "colmillos" mean?  Nobody knows, but finally CPT Morales says it means shrewd or more like gamesmanship.  Literally it means fangs or incisor teeth it appears, but the nuanced English is hard for most of these guys.

Warming up and suddenly there is a blast with a tremendous overpressure off to the left about 200 yards or maybe a little more.  Nobody paid attention but I could tell it wasn’t the cannon going off to announce “retreat” (when they bring down the flag) or a little gun.  No this was a BLAST and the smoke was lifting up past the large wall that separates us from the outside world which is Route Tampa, a major road in Iraq.

I hear a voice call out from down at the goal mouth “Welcome to Taji!” to one of our other guys down there warming up. 

I go to chow before they close and leave them to their game.  SFC Meder is there (we work together back home) and he is telling me how great everything is.  “Sir, I really like having my own room.  After the 80 man barracks at NFH and the 70 man tent in Buehring and the 3 days getting here from thee I really like it here.”

“Did you hear the mortar?  I think it was just over in the other pod.  It was really loud!”

“Meder, I saw the cloud, it was just outside the wall.  They think it was a V-BIED (Vehicle born Improvised Explosive Device; we could also call it a car bomb, but VBIED is so much more militaryish).  We saw the cloud of smoke.  Then about 2 minutes later a police car came by fast with its lights on.  I wasn’t sure what for but the police never miss a chance to go fast or turn on their lights (ask my daughter!) so they were either going to check it out (although they seemed to be going the wrong way) or rushing to a donut shop.  Wait!  We don’t HAVE a donut shop, so it must be the former.  Anyway another 4 minutes later the fire trucks went up towards another spot in another direction and the SOC trucks were another minute behind them. (SOC is the company that provides the Ugandan guards who protect the exterior of the base from attack or penetration and can also respond on the base itself.)”

“Sir, when I was in the Sinai (the U.S. has had Soldiers there keeping the peace for years; when are we going to get out of the Sinai?  Or Korea?  Or Germany?  Or Japan? Not important, but we have to di di mao out of Iraq!) there was a three prong explosion.  I think it was in 1995.  Anyway they blew up three different cars in about a square mile outside the camp.  It killed a bunch of people and we could see the smoke rising up and blowing over the wall.”

So people have been doing this for a long time and we only notice because we are in Iraq and these explosions make the news (especially if they kill a bunch of people). 

I asked a guy at the soccer field waiting to sub-in how often it happens.  He said the last mortar attack on the base was in October.  That must have been when that Soldier had a foot severely damaged while in his CHU (room).

It really isn’t that dangerous over here but there are still bad guys out there.  When you are over 50 there are two ways you can go; you can put your face into the sun and feel the wind upon your face or you can have God call you home and you will likely lose your place (REK).  Fear not; have faith; as the locals say “Insha’Allah”.

Peace.

Matthew 10:28

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink! (A primer).

There are many types of water in the world, and since there was some confusion recently let me explain it to you (just in case you never knew).

Rain Water:  it comes from the sky and causes muddy water.  If it is left standing it causes vector laden water, which is bad.  Don’t drink this water!

Distilled water:  this is used in irons and other special uses but normally isn’t used for drinking because it has nothing in it.

Softened water:  water that has been put through a process that takes out minerals, scale and other impurities that destroy pipes or make water taste bad (like sulphur).  It means you have to buy a water softener and pay for either rock salt or potassium crystals and keeps Home Depot and Lowe’s in customers.

Gray water is water that might actually be gray in color, but it is water used to wash your clothes or dishes.  It might have some dirt or soap but it can be used to water the grass or go into a septic tank without worry.

Potable water is treated water that might taste bad but you can drink it without harm.

Non-potable water is the kind of water that needs to be posted (except I guess in Texas) so you DON’T drink it.  You can wash your hands, shower, and add it to your radiator if needed, but don’t drink it.  In Iraq they are good about posting signs that say:  “Non-potable Water!  Do not drink it or brush your teeth with it!  You can wash your hands or shower in it.”  That is a pretty clear sign.  They didn’t have signs in Kuwait for non-potable water and with the school system the way it is today they really need to.

Bottled water is water that has been processed, purified and placed into bottles for people to drink.  In Iraq that is the only kind of water you should consume.  In America you can drink tap water, but why do that when you can pay for it?

(The army has units that actually purify water from lakes, streams or rivers and bottle it.  The acronym is ROWPU and I never thought I would ever see one actually be used.  I saw the Army reserve once run a water line for several miles around Camp Roberts practicing pumping water, but I never thought they would actually be needed.  Turns out they are a critical piece of equipment and we need them all.  Without them we wouldn’t have a drop to drink!)

Tap water is water that comes out of the tap or faucet in your home.  In America they call this treated, chlorinated and fluoridated water which tastes terrific.  I recommend it and I must say I miss the taste of chlorine and other trace minerals in my water.  I hope I can re-acquire the taste because I can’t afford to drink bottled water the rest of my life.         

Mexican (and European and Iraq) Tap Water is to be considered non-potable.  That also means it will give you the “green apple quick step” or “Montezuma’s revenge”, depending on where you drink it.  Just because it comes from a tap doesn’t mean you should drink it!  If they speak English as their first language you can drink it (except in Texas, but what language is that anyway?  BTW, how ‘bout dem Cowboys!)

Lastly we come to black water, which is probably actually brown in color or sometimes found with a blueish tint.  This is water that contains Class I downloads (class one is army supply talk for food).  It is normally received at the final end of a sewer line or from a “honey truck” emptying porta-johns.

At Taji they pump out and bring in all the types of water mentioned here in trucks.  Potable water comes in trucks cleverly labeled “Potable Water”.  Non-potable water trucks are labeled “Non-Potable Water” and the tanks the pump into are also labeled.  Gray and black water tanks are labeled appropriately (“Gray Water” and “Black Water”, not to be confused with the notorious contracting company that was first used for private security in Iraq “Blackwater” but with a similar odor when it was all said and done.)  

Know your water and drink it daily. 

John 4:14

Cleanliness is next to Godliness, isn’t it?

Cleanliness is next to Godliness, isn’t it?

The Reverend John Wesley is considered to have originally said “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” in reference to appearance.  But what about room appearance?  Is that only an issue when you move in?  Have you ever noticed how untidy and dirty other people live?  Paraphrasing Jesus:  Look first to the dirt in your own room before you tell another that they need to clean theirs!

Since I arrived I found my room cleaned to a satisfactory level, but having been formed by my mother I have commenced to clean my room with more vigor than normal.  I am not a cleaner by nature, but when it must be done or when first entering a new location it seems to be the human condition.

As Soldiers arrive they get their room assignments and immediately note how filthy they are and run to the PX to purchase cleaning supplies.  I am sure the people we are replacing did the same when they arrived.  And my how far they have fallen!

I wandered to the room next to me a few days ago and asked the Chaplain what was going on etc.  He was cleaning his room for the next occupant.  “Were you raised in a BARN!  This place is a PIGPEN!  It looks like a tornado went through here!’ my mother’s words swirled through my mind and I thought; “Man!  Whatever happened to “Cleanliness is next to Godliness!?”

“Hey Chaplain!  Whats going on?”

“Oh!  Hi!  I am cleaning the room for the next Chaplain.  I promised I would give him the room and all the stuff in it (television?)”

“Really!  Well, how is it coming along?”

“Don’t come in here, the place is a mess (UNDERSTATEMENT ALERT!)”

Pigs live in their own slop and sometimes so do kids.  But Chaplains?  I guess some do! 

People are judged by their appearances and Chaplain Y. needs to carry that message back.  Chaplains need to hold a higher standard; they are to be men of one wife, sober, without outward sins and clean is how I think the quote goes…or should have gone anyway. 

Most of the men in our building are over 45 and have been well trained by their wives.  Neat, clean, cooperative, helpful, polite with limited bad language or habits.  I have it on good authority that over half will put the toilet seat down after use even though they are the only one using the toilet for the next 9 months!  But there are a few exception (the young whippersnapper MAJ Griggs….and the LTC married with no children and used to a mostly bachelor lifestyle will be the exception.

But wait!  There is MORE!

Each staff member was to move into the same room vacated by their counterpart staff member.  This sounds terrific of course, but what if there are too many officers of senior rank compared to the unit we are replacing?  Some changes MUST be made and the CW5 Mafia insisted that they be given the rooms they deserve by rank.  There are a mess of them so many get bumped to lesser quarters.

Which means the Chaplain, although he had promised that the incoming Chaplain would get his room…that was not the decision made by the XO (after extensive consultation with others who aren’t even living on the base with us!) 

MAJ Sullenberger Jr. (S2) arrived and was ready to get into his room.  But the Chaplain had just moved out that day after “cleaning it”.  He went with his counterpart to get the key.  Knocking on the Chaplain’s door there was no answer.  Knock, knock, knock: “Chaplain!  Are you in there?  We need the key to your room!”  No answer.

Knocking again with more vigor.  “Chaplain!  We need a key!  Are you in there?”

The door opened a crack.  “I am only going to give the key to the person taking my room.”

”Okay, well that is great!  That would be me” said Sullenberger.

“No, it isn’t you.  Chaplain St. Georges is taking my place.  I am only going to give the key to him.  (To paraphrase…) I will only give the key to you if directed by the XO.”

“Okay, well we can do that” and they started to leave.  “I won’t be up.  I am going to bed and won’t answer the door if you come back” Gee whiz!  He sounded a little…hostile?  From a Chaplain?

They went to get the S3 and the three of them went (walked) to the command building and there was the XO coming out. They explained to the XO the situation.  Just then almost running up was the Chaplain.

“Chaplain!  Do you have the room key?” said the XO.

“Yes.  But I promised it to the guy who is my counterpart and he is replacing me.”

“Chaplain, he isn’t going to get that room.  The XO of the new brigade gets to decide who goes into what room.  That is how it works.”

“Oh.   Oh, well, ummm…” 

“Chaplain, do you have the key?”

“Yes sir, I do!”

“Chaplain, give me the key.  Now please.”

Sheepishly and with a little hesitation he handed the key to the XO who handed it to MAJ Sullenberger.

Then he got to move into the pig sty.  Which is where I found Sully cleaning (disinfecting?) the room.  “We share a hot water heater” I said. 

“Oh great!   Man, did this guy even clean before he left?” I told him how he had spent the day or two before cleaning.  No evidence of it though.

“I can’t believe people actually live like this!”

We will see what his room looks like after he is ready to leave.  I expect that the guys will mostly leave their rooms clean, the toilet seats down and there will be no complaints about the rooms when I leave. 

I am not sure how many Christians we have here, but for many their cleanliness is as close as they will get to God.

Titus 1:6 (paraphrased) 

“I just want to say three things…”

I have skipped ahead from Camp Buehring (as far as posts go) to my arrival at Camp Taji with the Torch.  I was sick for 2 days and now it is Sunday.  There was a consolidated chapel service since some 1st CAB Soldiers depart on Monday or Tuesday. All the chaplains from all the units in Iraq are there and have a part. 

Once again I get tears in my eyes when I am in church for no apparent reason.  Words have meanings that catch my subconscious by surprise?  Like movies with kids, husbands and wives, love, affection, good men who do good things for those who can’t do it for themselves and other such stuff gets me a little teary too.  But this is getting ridiculous.

They combined the Gospel Service with the Contemporary service and we got gospel in the air, rock and roll and even a mime music interpretation.  Wow!  I have had more different service experiences in the past two months than the last 15 years.  They didn’t sing “Mighty Fortress” in any of them but at Camp Buehring they sang a classic tune in every contemporary service (I guess I was there for three weeks of Sundays; more to follow on camp Buehring; I almost miss it!) 

COL Muth (Brigade Commander) was to give a few words at the beginning before the service officially began.

“I just want to say three things.  First I thank the Lord for giving me the opportunity to command this CAB in combat.  There are only ten CABs in the army and I have been blessed to command this one.  Second I thank the Lord for bringing us through safely.  Thirdly I want to ask you to continue to have the patience to plan carefully, execute our plan with deliberateness and be safe in our return to Ft. Riley”

He was using notes to stay on track.  He said what he needed to say and then sat down to join the worship.  The quote above isn’t perfect, but it is close enough.  I was inspired to become closer to God; to appreciate good leadership and I immediately recognized again what makes this man such a terrific leader.  He cares about the people as much as he cares about himself. 

Col Muth stands about 5’ 9” (maybe a hair less), has no hair to speak of (even if he let it grow) and exercises religiously (I can’t speak to the exercise of his faith, but he appears religious).  He is a man who is always on the move, always focused with a great intensity and focus.  He knows what he is going to say and he says it.

I inquired of the staff to see if there was a misunderstanding on my part.  Nope.  COL Muth is the real deal.  There are no shortcomings to speak of in the man.  That doesn’t mean he is perfect nor that he is without critics, but if they are (and I didn’t find ONE) there they are few and far between. They are also quibbling around the edges.  COL Muth is a man’s man; a Christian warrior who recognizes his blessings and accepts his responsibilities within that.  Does he have an ego?  Oh yeah!  A big one!  But that ego is his own.  He doesn’t need to belittle, question or diminish others to be happy with himself.  He has ego and you can have yours and we can all be confident in ourselves.

“I have never had a better commander.  Period!”  A repetitive quote I heard when asking around.  Good for them!

To become a Combat Aviation Brigade Commander (CAB) on active duty is a difficult task.  Many are called and few are chosen.  I am sure they are for the most part a tremendous group.  Active manly leaders with egos and hearts and passion to match; Guard commanders are often chosen as much by default as anything else. 

Who else is available?  Within a state there may only be one to choose from or maybe a couple.  But on active duty there is a rigorous selection process that not only decides who will make Colonel but then another board to identify who will command.  Fortunately in this current environment in Iraq we don’t require the best.  There aren’t people getting shot down regularly, Soldiers aren’t getting killed daily and there are no other great issues that require great leadership.  In Iraq today we can get by very well with “good enough”.

Our brigade has enough maturity (the leaders are easily 10 years older than our active duty counterparts), rank (their Brigade staff has 2 LTCs and one COL, we have 8 LTCs, extra senior NCOs all over), and experience (life experience, varied job experiences and a lot of time together over the years which builds trust (or not).

So we are going to be okay.  If you were worried please don’t be.  We are good enough to do this mission well and safely.

I have three things to say to you;      

May the Lord bless you and keep you; may he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; may he look upon you with favor and give you his peace.

Blessings!