“Sir, I just wanted to tell you that SSG’s …..son was murdered last night…”

“Sir, I just wanted to tell you that SSG’s …..son was murdered last night…”

That is the call you never want to get.  We are on a Christmas pass and it is the day after you travel and your Soldier had his son murdered. 

But it isn’t about me.  It wasn’t my son. They are over there on the couch and the chair watching a movie and Face booking his friends.  It isn’t my daughters either and my wife is reading Jeff Miller in the Sports section of the OC Register and she is already crying.  Jeff Miller makes athletes human.  I want to be Jeff Miller.

My cell phone rang and it was one of my favorites (Caller ID: I am so lucky in my section that they are ALL my favorites) and I can tell it is Ms. Ramirez, Warrant Officer extraordinaire; tough, professional, compassionate and mother of a son.  She has elected to take her pass over New Year’s because somebody has to stay back and guard the helicopters, be in charge of the troops staying back and generally be available.

“Hello Ms. Ramirez! Good morning!  How are you and how can I help you!”(Calls like this can never be good news but…I was not thinking about that at the time.

“Good morning sir, but I have some terrible news.”  Straight, direct and to the point; I like that about her, but right now I would prefer she beat around the bush.  Instead it is straight to business: “Sir, Staff Sergeant ….called and his son was murdered last night.  He still wants to deploy.  He just wants time to bury his son.”

Pause.  Not too long.  I can cover my emotions for this stuff for at least a few hours.  It is when I type it out that something gets in my eye and I need to pause for a minute.  It happened a couple times today as I made my way through the day.  This is what real life is about.  I am over fifty and have seen enough people die unexpectedly.  Murders, suicides and of course aircraft accidents (plenty of those) if I never know someone in another that would be fine with me, but I doubt we will be so fortunate.  So you hold your emotions and try to figure out what the emotion should be later.  Too many times it is not there.  Not enough.  It is just a problem to solve, an issue to work through, and some tears welling up here and there.  No sobbing for me.  I don’t know why.  My day hasn’t come yet, but I am getting closer. 

I miss my Mother-in-law sometimes.  I saw a Toyota Camry today (her car, same color, same hair from the back and the same terrible driving position.)  So sometimes I can miss people.  But mostly it just sits deep inside in there somewhere. Another sniffle.  Hate that!  Back to business.

“Sir, Mike Kelly.  Sorry to call you but I have bad news.  SSG’s …. Son was murdered last night.  I know you live in the same town as he is…they need a Red Cross message sent…I just want to make sure everything is taken care of if needed.”

The XO explains the process and how it will work.  I just ruined another Christmas.  Well, maybe it made us appreciate that much more the blessings we have.

Treasure every moment; pray for blessings and mercy on the family; and have a very merry Christmas.