18 Candles: Happy Birthday!

Can we talk about love, relationships, marriage, family, affection and birthdays for a minute?

Everybody loves Baby Face (BF).  He is quiet, cute, friendly and looks about…18. 

Today was his birthday.  He comes to lunch and talked about the movie “16 Candles” (a classic from the 1980s) which is about a girl whose 16^th birthday is being overlooked (she thinks) because of her sister’s wedding.  Awwww.  Isn’t that sweet?

Baby Face almost got overlooked on his big day.  As Fists of Fury (FoF) was not present and she normally is in charge of all the big celebrations so the remaining ladies went off to the PX and got a cake and some special gifts.

As BF advances into to “Manhood” they didn’t want him to be unawares of the special requirements of a real man.  So everybody gathered together around 15:00 and sang “Happy Birthday!”, blew out imaginary candles on the cake and then he opened his gifts.  They said the gifts were from all of us, but truth be told the two of them recognized the need and just bought what was appropriate and necessary.

As each gift was unwrapped the “Oohs!” and “Aaaahs!” were mixed with laughter and knowing nods of affirmation.  The parents, aunts and uncles were all filled with joy because their little baby was just about all grown up!

“Hmmmm.  Shampoo?”  No.  Hair gel!  Because he wants to try out a flat top instead of his little Opie haircut.  Next is some “Old Spice” under arm deodorant; something masculine and an aid to good body odor control.  How about some “Axe” body spray, which you can spray on when you need an emergency bout of odor control (Also chicks dig it!)  Barbasol shaving cream…not that he needs it but if he ever does he will be ready!

Finally the last gift which looked like a magazine...“Oh NO!” I thought, I hope it isn’t that one magazine I saw him “reading” in the PX last week…and it wasn’t!  Instead it was “Sexy Latinas” magazine, which of course has pictures of clothed (barely) Latina women.  Now our little baby IS all grown up!

To conclude the festivities we were all going to watch the official movie of the CAB S4 “P.S. I Love You”.  The 2^nd and third official movies are “The Princess Bride” and “Galaxy Quest” followed by “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”.  All of these movies have a common theme of committed love to others, personal growth and change and a relaxed approach to love and life.

To watch the movie you need some Kleenex if you are a man and a whole box of tissues if you are a woman.  The first five minutes of the movie explains perfectly the relationship problems between men and women.  The men in the room were laughing and nodding their heads knowingly.  The women were doing the same.  Yep. That is exactly how people who love each other really fight.

This allows our young man to learn how to relate to women you love.  To this date we all think he is just an inexperienced fellow looking none too hard for the special someone in his life.  And we all agree “There is nothing wrong with that!” 

Allow me to quote some great things the male hero says to his wife of about 7 years: 

To his wife he says:  “Every morning I still wake up and the first thing I want to do is to see your face.” Later as they argue about what their life may become and she expresses dissatisfaction with their life he says: “What do you want? I know what I want, cause I'm holding it in my hands.” As he held her shoulders and looked lovingly into her eyes.

Later another character has this conversation with the wife whispering as he tries to understand why he has troubles figuring women out.

“What do women want?”
“We have no idea what we want.”
“I knew it!”

The movie theme song is from the Pogues who have a questionable style and I don’t recommend them as a group, but this song is sung with a tenderness and emotion that makes you overlook the punk aspects and recognize it for the love ballad that it is.  This is the song men who love their wives want to sing every single day (if only in their hearts) if their wives would only let them:

I just want to see you
When you're all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I can't escape
I love you 'till the end

I love you 'till the end

How do you finish up after a good tear jerker and chips and cake?  You talk leadership, NCO and officer leadership.  There is a long professional discussion about how leaders need to uphold the standard and things we need to do and not do.  The most important thing to remember is that the first person you need to talk to and have examine themselves is the man in the mirror. 

Finally the conversation drifts and the big question is asked directly.  BF looked straight at me and as directly as he possibly could he said, “Hey, sir, umm, am I going to be at this desk when I return from leave?” 

So direct and without fear he just blurted it out.  He didn’t say, “Sir:  I heard you tell the S3 in the hallway as we were walking to chow yesterday that you might transfer me to the S3 Plans section.  Is that your intention?”

So I stood there dumbfounded that he would ask such a strong question without fear or reservation.  The rest of the staff egged me on “Come on sir!  He deserves the truth!  Tell him the truth!”  Of course they all knew what the truth was because they heard me talk in the hallway also, and so they had asked me.  But they didn’t want to let BF know.  That would be too easy.  They wanted me to tell him, so I said, “You might want to clean out your desk before you leave”.

“Oh sir!  Tell him the truth!  You have to tell him sir!  It is the right thing to do.” the whole staff kept after me.

When we were walking down the hall the S3 was with us (which is very unusual) and I saw BF and the others in front of us a few paces and never missing an opportunity I said, “Do you really think we need to transfer LT Godfrey to the S3 plans?”  Without missing a beat or additional prompting the S3 (who is much smarter than he looks) said “Yeah.  I think we will have to do that.  We need the help and he needs the professional development.” Then we switched topics and let the issue simmer.

There was some additional discussion about the why and wherefore and how he heard and so forth.  Finally he shrugged his shoulders, shifted his weight a little and said “I haven’t slept in the past two days wondering about this”.  Poor boy!  He could have just asked me…but he didn’t.

Do you really think a father could do that to his own son?  Would the “Familia” allow that to happen?  There would be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth if our little BF was banished to the S3 Plans (arguably a place compared to Purgatory, but not as nice.)  The S4 needs someone to gently pick on and show love to; someone to help grow and mature and gently rebuke and build up.  He is a little brother, a son, a nephew and even the nice little next door neighbor’s kid.  Think Beaver, Opie and a little Cameron all rolled up into one. Would we do that to somebody we love and want the best for?  Would we do that to someone who has a degree in Digital Media (whatever that is) from Fresno State University, the 2010 College World Series National Baseball Champions?  I don’t think so!

I could have told him we love him and we can’t let him go.  I could have said that his skills are so important to the team that he couldn't be replaced (but I don’t want to exaggerate unduly).  I could have told him that the team would revolt if I ever allowed him to escape and not be there for our gentle jokes and humor enjoyed at his expense.  But I didn’t.  Instead I told him I love him like this “No.  We were just kidding.  We aren’t going to let you go.  We need somebody to pick on and that somebody is you.  You are welcome!”

So if you see Baby Face please tell him we love him and “Happy Birthday!”